Image by Everton Vila

Love & Relationship

Marriage & Relationship Counseling

I'm glad that you have found me. Let's find out together if we 'fit together'. My main focus is to accompany you on your way to reaching your full potential in the context of love and relationships with others and with yourself, so that you find happiness and fulfillment in your life. I believe that we all deserve greatness. Let's make your life and relationship great! 

Why relationship counseling? We almost all think, including myself: "I can do this on my own". But what we often forget is that we all have one or two blind spots and tend to get stuck in the comfort zone without realizing it because we have mastered the art of self-deception down to the smallest detail.

As a relationship expert, I most want to help those people who developed an insecure attachment style in their childhood. This can show up in on-off relationships, toxic relationships or constant conflicts, as well as in (often unconscious) fear of attachment or fear of loss. Of course, these couples also have all of the other typical relationship problems that everyone knows. The difference is that partners who are insecurely attached often get into a vicious cycle, fail to resolve conflicts, cannot easily shake off worries and concerns or avoid jealousy, and never or only rarely experience reconciliation with their partners. I help these people to get out of this vicious cycle, to heal the injuries that have occurred and to develop a secure attachment with their partner and family. 

 

This not only helps these people to strengthen their self-esteem, to stand on their own two feet and to feel autonous, it also helps them to learn to think relationally and thus to build a deeper connection, closeness and love for their partner. This is the basis for more harmony, mutual respect, open communication, deep trust, shared joy, as well as closeness, tenderness and good sex. This is what a relationship looks like with a secure bond with the partner: Love and freedom are co-existent.  

 

I love and accept you and your way and you love and accept me and my way.” Don't we all want to be able to say that? I guess so. But this requires a good sense of self-worth, trust, clear boundaries, openness and a connection to oneselve, to the authentic, true part in us. Only then a deep connection, closeness and real contact with others is possible.  

 

Ultimately, it is the secure attachment with the partner that is important. It is a biological necessity. When I feel safe in the partnership, I am relaxed. Then I don't need to worry. Then I know that I can rely on the other person, that they will come back to me, that they will not abandon me, that they love and respect me. Even when we argue. Even if we have differences. These are the characteristics of a secure bond. For a harmonious, happy relationship, you simply need a secure base that can survive injuries. That's what this is all about. To (re)establish this secure basis for the partnership.

 

​ The following symptoms can be a sign of an insecure attachment style with the partner:

  • It has become very quiet in your relationship or marriage.

  • Even though there are two of you, you feel lonely.

  • It's difficult to talk to each other.

  • Your topics and discussions go around in circles.

  • There are often arguments and disharmony.

  • Reconciliation never or rarely takes place.

  • You want more intimacy and closeness than your partner allows.

  • You want more sex than your partner allows.

  • Or you want less physical contact and closeness than your partner demands.

  • Your partner is not or rarely available emotionally and/or physically.

  • You think about separation or avoid your partner wherever possible.

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If you recognize these symptoms as your own, and here it is enough if there are 2 or 3 symptoms that resonate for you, professional guidance with an experienced relationship expert will definitely be helpful or even necessary.  

I offer couples counseling as well as individual relationship counseling. I work with individuals when in relationship if they feel that they need or want to work independently on their relationship issues, e.g. because their partner does not want to join couples therapy at the moment. Or they may want to have one on one sessions, because they feel the need to keep certain aspects of themselves and/or the relatsionship confidential. My work is also suitable for singles when they are dissatisfied with being alone and long for a relationship. And of course, I offer couples counseling. The way I do couples counseling is based on Terry Real's work called RLT (Relational Life Therapy). Find out more about it here.

 

We all deserve a healthy, happy relationship! A healthy relationship with yourself, with others, with food, and with other important aspects of your life.

 

I support you with individual sessions, couples therapy as well as workshops & seminars, in person or via Zoom. Learn more about individual counseling or couples ounseling or choose the third option: Treat yourself to a free consultation via Zoom. I look forward to hearing from you. 

Love

Why Work With Me?

If you feel lost, are plagued by fears and worries, exposed to frequent conflicts within your partnership or family, feel lonely in your relationship, or your needs are not or only inadequately met, or you are just plain frustrated with your relationship (or the lack of it), you've come to the right place. If you are fed up with how things are going in your relationship (or of being single), if you feel stuck, or if you feel like life (or your partner) is trying to play a nasty trick on you, keep reading. I believe that I might be able to help you. Why?

Because I know exaclty how it feels. I've been there. And I've got through it. I know the way!

We all have a blind spot or two and tend to get stuck in the comfort zone without realizing it. But if you've read this far I suppose you really want to change something. I respect and honor your courage to seek help and find someone who can gently reflect your blind spots back to you and playfully help you become aware of those transparent signals of self-deception. It also pays to find a counselor that has already gone through his own night of the soul and has walked a fair way on his own healing path. Because such a person can truly empathize with your worries and pains. More importantly, he or she'll be able can clearly reflect your hidden essential qualities, your essence, such as love, trust, strength or courage, in you and thus help you to recognize and embody these qualities in yourself. The right support can provide all of this and much more. ​

Does something resonate in you? Then let's talk and find out how I can support you. It is important to me that I can provide added value to you. Let's find out together in a free half-hour session over the phone or Skype.  

 

One warning, however: My work is about transformation, not about putting on band aids. It often requires going through pain and discomfort. And that requires commitment and courage. Are you ready for that? Yes? Great! Give me a call now